RUBBER BALLS AND LIQUOR
Gilbert Gottfried on Rubber Balls and Liquor:
Nobody ever reads this part of the book. Somebody at the publishing house explained to me that it's actually called jacket copy. It says in my contract that I have to write something over here in this tiny space, even though I don't think anyone will notice. In fact, I'll bet anything that you're not reading this part now. And if it turns out that you are . . . well, the guy in the bookstore is probably staring at you, saying, "Stop reading that book!" I guess there's a reason bookstores are going out of business, left and right. Cheap bastards like you think it's okay to stand in the aisles and read to your heart's content. So for the sake of bookstores everywhere, buy this book. I myself don't care. I only care about the poor working man. Oh, and the sanctity of the written word. I care about that, too. And in my case, those written words, of course, include dick and pussy.
AN AMAZON.COM #1 BEST-SELLER (okay, so this was in the Bargain Books category, but Gilbert's fans are cheap, cheap, cheap...)
“Gottfried goes for the jugular in his first humor book… outrageous… guffaw-inducing jokes on almost every page.” - Publishers Weekly
“This is definitely the loudest book I have ever read. It changed my life. After reading it, I decided to go through transgender surgery.” - Bob Saget
“Gilbert is the funniest man alive. He is the comic genius of our generation. This book proves he is the Picasso of the cubist-dick joke.” - Penn Jillette